Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
