Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
