I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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