His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
