Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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