hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
