I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
