Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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