I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This baby is an asshole
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
