Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
