Don't you send me to vm
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
