I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My butt remains clenched, sir.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
