You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
