Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
