he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize