why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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