i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize