brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
