So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You took a bar mat shot.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
