I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
