I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
