dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
