Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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