Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
