talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
