It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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