We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
