I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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