ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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