I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize