Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize