They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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