I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
