I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
