he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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