She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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