you turned your livingroom into a bong?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
