Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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