you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
