He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize