Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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