Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
