So drunk its hurt
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
