I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
