thus making me awesome and them whores
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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