I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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