she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
