I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
