You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
