it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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