I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
These tits shall not be calmed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
