i can't believe i had my finger in that
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
