I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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