Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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