Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
