watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
