Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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