I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
