brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
