Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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