Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize